How to Be a Great Employer to Your Nanny: Essential Tips for Families
Hiring a nanny is one of the most personal decisions a family can make. You’re not just choosing someone to watch your children, you’re inviting them into your home, your rhythms, and your parenting life. And with that comes power, responsibility, and the opportunity to build a relationship that transforms everyone involved.
Because make no mistake: being a great employer to your nanny isn’t a “nice extra”, it’s foundational to the quality and consistency of care your children receive. When a nanny feels respected, trusted, and supported, they show up fully. When they don’t - even the best nannies burn out or disengage.
In this guide, I walk through practical steps and real-world strategies families can adopt grounded in respect, transparency, and shared purpose. To become the employer that outstanding nannies want to stay with, and to raise children in environments energized by care, not friction.
1. Pay on time, without exception
Make sure the nanny is paid by a decided time like every Friday, by 5:00 PM. Having to chase late payments is one of the biggest frustrations for nannies, and it creates unnecessary stress. Paying on time is paramount to building their trust in you, shows respect, and models reliability within your household.
Pro tip: Set up an automatic payment system (e.g. bank transfer scheduled in advance) so “on time” becomes a baked-in habit rather than a manual chore.
2. Keep a shared hours log
Keep a simple system like a physical notebook in your home or a shared digital document where the nanny records start and end times daily. This gives you a transparent record to base pay on, helps avoid arguments later, and makes sure both sides remain aligned.
I once saw a family who used a whiteboard on the wall by the door for hours logging; the nanny would write her hours as she left, and it became part of the flow. Over time, you barely notice it but it prevents “he said / she said” disputes.
3. Be clear about expectations
Like any job, the precedence set during hiring and onboarding play a key role in long-term success. Provide clarity on roles and responsibilities, schedules, breaks, vacation, sick leave, holidays, and every aspect of compensation, including benefits. Having these important but sometimes uncomfortable conversations upfront ensures a smooth start. We highly recommend having a contract for every nanny employment. Clarity prevents misunderstandings and supports an ideal care arrangement and fantastic relationship from the very beginning. Our team has some fantastic contract templates available, please feel free to reach out for a copy.
4. Encourage daily updates
As you may have noticed, open and consistent communication is a recurring theme in this article. Building communication systems keeps dialogue flowing throughout your time together. One such system is daily updates, which your nanny can provide. This can be as simple as 1–2 photos of daily activities and a quick note on meals, naps, or milestones you’re working toward with your children.
This does double duty:
For parents, it becomes a living memory book.
For your team (you + the nanny), it becomes a feedback loop on what’s working or where to adjust.
Over time, these updates become part of your shared language around your child’s day.
5. Respect time
Respect goes both ways, but as employers, you set the precedence. Parents want reliable nannies and nannies want reliable employers. Their litmus test for reliability is:
Do they pay me on time?
Do they respect my time by not expecting unpaid extra hours?
Do they only ask me to do the tasks we agreed upon in the contract?
You can set a fantastic example by being punctual at hand-offs, paying on time (and for extra hours), and ensuring assigned tasks fit within the agreed schedule.
6. Provide the right tools
Bringing someone new into your children’s lives requires building trust, which takes time. Reliability on both sides lays the foundation. Breaking this into smaller steps as you build trust is the way to go.
Families often use baby monitors, Apple AirTags, or even phones attached to strollers or bags to check in. The key is to communicate openly about these tools, explain your reasoning, and get the nanny’s buy-in. Always share your “why” behind your actions, and be intentional with transitions as your working relationship grows.
7. Share your parenting philosophy
When a new nanny starts, it can feel like a huge transition for children, especially if they’re used to spending most of their time with mom and dad. How you handle this transition can have lasting effects.
For children, play is their work, and consistency is their language of choice. Communicate and align with your nanny on your child development approach, your preferred methods of calming, disciplining, inspiring, and motivating, and your overall parenting philosophy. More than anything, ensure consistency between you and your nanny. It creates stability and security for your children.
8. Provide nannies training on things you want to keep consistent
One of our favorite training frameworks is: Demonstrate → Duplicate → Make it your own.
Show the nanny how you want something done, with explanation.
Have her repeat it while you observe, and give feedback.
Once aligned, let her have space to incorporate her style so long as it honors the purpose.
This method helps maintain consistency while empowering your nanny. As we all know micromanaging never helped anyone. Make sure to empower and have trust in your training.
9. Have a weekly plan
Children are constantly growing mentally, physically, and emotionally. One of the best ways to support this growth is to ensure their activities evolve with their abilities and knowledge. A weekly activity plan, almost like a curriculum, makes this possible.
Spending just 15–30 minutes every Friday to plan the next week’s activities creates structure and helps ensure your children experience high-quality, developmentally appropriate activities.
10. Prioritize nap-time tasks
Nap-time responsibilities are often the least defined part of a nanny’s job description, made trickier by the unpredictability of nap lengths. This creates room for misalignment or miscommunication.
To avoid this, create a prioritized list of nap-time tasks and add frequency notes (e.g., laundry twice a week, bottles daily). Adjust the list based on what realistically gets done, and share the rationale behind your priorities so your nanny understands your reasoning and stays aligned.
11. Show appreciation
We humans tend to remember slights for years but forget appreciation quickly. Nannies are no different. Verbal thanks, small gestures, and notes of recognition go a long way in making them feel valued and seen. Families who consistently show appreciation retain great nannies far longer.
Sharing pictures or notes from your children such as when they missed their nanny or achieved something the nanny helped them work toward can mean the world. Those moments make nannies feel deeply connected and appreciated.
Bonus idea: Have your children draw or write something to share with the nanny — “I missed you today” or “Thank you for the reading time.” Those reach deeply.
12. Understand legal & regional obligations
To be a truly great employer, you should also stay informed about the labor laws in your region: minimum wages, overtime, domestic worker protections, workers’ compensation, taxes, etc. (For example, in the U.S., families often deal with the “nanny tax” and must withhold Social Security, Medicare, unemployment taxes, etc.) Even if you’re outside the U.S., many countries have domestic worker laws, workers’ rights, or regulations.
It’s a partnership, not a transaction
At the end of the day, being a great employer to your nanny isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about consistency, respect, and communication. When you pay on time, set clear expectations, share your parenting philosophy, and show appreciation, you create a foundation of trust.
And when nannies feel trusted and supported, they don’t just “watch the kids” they become partners in your children’s growth. They bring patience, creativity, love, and stability that ripple through your household.
Because in the end, the quality of care your children receive is directly tied to the quality of the relationship you build with the person providing it. Treat your nanny as the valuable professional they are, and you’ll give your children not just great care but an extension of yourself, too.