A Bay Area family's guide to the quiet weeks between "yes" and the first morning — and how to set your nanny up to actually succeed.
By the time you're reading this, the hard part is behind you. The search is done — the persona workshop, job postings, the long list narrowed down to the one nanny, the in-person trial, contract negotiations — and the offer is signed. Your nanny said yes. Take a moment to celebrate. You've earned it.
Then, usually about a day later, a different feeling shows up: okay, but what do I need to do now?
Here's the thing almost nobody tells Bay Area families. The window between signing the contract and your nanny's first morning is not dead time. It's one of the most leveraged stretches of the whole relationship. What you do in these two or three weeks quietly decides whether this becomes a multi-year match your kids grow up with.
So let me reframe the whole to-do list for you, because the frame matters more than the checklist.
Your one job in this window is to set your nanny up to succeed. Goal is to remove every reason they could fail, before they ever walk in.
A nanny who has what they need on day one is reliable, confident, and sticks around. A nanny who's guessing is anxious — and anxious people make small mistakes that erode trust fast. Ideally we want to set the bar and show them what great looks like from day one. This reduces the guessing and sets you up for fast feedback loops.
Everything below is just that idea, made concrete — written specifically for households in the Bay Area. (Quick note: I'm a nanny recruiter, not an accountant or attorney. The legal information provided here covers the California basics every Bay Area family runs into, but your payroll provider and insurer should confirm your specifics.)
1. Get the boring, protective stuff handled first
Let's lead with the most boring but also your next urgent topic, and the part that protects everyone.
Set up your nanny payroll. When you're employing a nanny legally in California, you're a household employer. That means an EIN, state tax accounts, and quarterly filings. You do not need to become an expert in any of this. A household payroll service exists precisely so you don't; it handles the filings, the pay stubs, and the taxes for you. This is a great window to set this up. While you're at it, please collect the nanny's direct deposit information so their very first payday is smooth. This will make for a great start to building trust with them.
One quiet California detail your payroll provider will handle: at the time of hire you're required to give your nanny a written wage notice (the Labor Code 2810.5 "Notice to Employee") spelling out the pay rate, overtime rate, and payday. Good providers generate it automatically.
Confirm workers' comp. California requires household employers to carry workers' compensation insurance for a nanny working regular hours. The good news for most Bay Area families: it's often already built into or easily added as a rider to your homeowner's or renter's insurance. Making one phone call to your insurer and confirming the coverage for the nanny's hours should be it. Please make sure you are getting the quote for the right classification of the worker as well. If for some reason you can't add it, the California State Compensation Insurance Fund is another option.
Get acquainted with the I-9. The I-9 verifies your nanny is authorized to work in the U.S. The nanny fills out their part (Section 1) no later than their first day. You complete your part (Section 2) — where you look at the nanny's ID documents — within three business days of their start date. You're allowed to do it earlier once the nanny has accepted, which I'd recommend: getting this done ahead of time is a good idea so day one isn't paperwork day. You simply keep the form in your records in case it's ever requested.
A small mindset shift on all of this: don't apologize for being thorough. Doing it legally and properly is one of the loudest signals you can send a great nanny that this is a real, professional role worth committing to. See our services page for more on what a well-structured placement looks like end to end.
2. Send the message before the spreadsheet
Before any of the operational stuff reaches the nanny, sending them a warm welcoming note is a great idea — text or email, whatever fits your relationship.
I cannot overstate how much this matters. The nanny just turned down or paused other options to choose your family. The stretch between "I accepted" and "I started" is when a nanny is quietly nervous. A heartfelt message that says "We are so glad it's you. The kids already know your name and we can't wait for Monday" would mean the world and make them feel very welcomed.
This message is about excitement and welcome, not logistics. The logistics can come in a separate, clearly labeled note a few days later.
3. Build the nanny a real onboarding guide
I've seen this be the single biggest difference between a nanny who finds their feet in three days versus the one who's still guessing after three weeks.
Think of it as a home manual — everything in your head about your child that the nanny has no way of knowing yet. You've spent every day with your baby; they've spent zero. The faster you transfer what you know, the faster they become the partner you're hoping for. Yes, some of this is already in the contract or the role scope. This is a living document, the stuff that's too granular for a contract but makes or breaks a Tuesday afternoon.
Here's what I'd put in your nanny onboarding guide:
- Anything safety-critical. Allergies (and exactly what to do, where the medication is, who to call). Emergency contacts. Your pediatrician. House safety basics. This is the one section you say out loud and write down.
- The daily rhythm. Nap windows, feeding amounts and timing, what a good day actually looks like hour to hour. Think of it as a map with a starting point rather than an exact script — it evolves as kids grow.
- What your baby loves, and what your baby is not liking. The specific song that calms them. The texture they hate. The wind-down that works and the one that backfires.
- The things you're particular about. Hand-washing before bottles, screen rules, how you talk about food, your approach to boundaries and discipline. If you have a care philosophy — neuro-affirming, Montessori-leaning, whatever it is — name it plainly so the nanny isn't guessing in real time.
- Hygiene and home practices. Shoes-off policy, sanitizing routines (high-chair, car seat, bottles, etc.), laundry, and where things live.
I had a family pour an evening into a five-page "Baby Info" document — favorite songs, the exact way the baby liked to be held to sleep, the foods that were a hard no. The nanny later said that document was the reason the first week felt easy instead of terrifying — they weren't testing things on the child and hoping, they were executing a plan the family had handed them. That's the whole game: you're not testing the nanny, you're equipping them.
We've distilled the key items from this guide into a free printable one-page checklist — grab it below.
4. Decide a system for expenses ahead of time
Having a system for communicating and reimbursing expenses is a great idea. This way it's thought through ahead of time and doesn't come up as an awkward conversation in the pinch of the moment.
If the nanny will drive the kids, California has a mileage reimbursement expectation, and you'll want to agree on how that's tracked and paid. Same for anything the nanny will buy on your behalf: groceries, activity fees, supplies for the kids. Pick the mechanism now and tell the nanny how it works as part of onboarding.
These are the conversations we hear from nannies about the most in the first few weeks. Removing this friction early sets a positive tone for the whole relationship.
5. The reliability deal goes both ways
This is the part I most want you to sit with, because it's the one families almost never hear.
You want a reliable nanny. Of course you do — for a Bay Area parent who can't move an 8:15 standup, lateness or a no-show isn't a quirk, it's a crisis. Reliability is the trait you screen hardest for. But reliability is a trade, not a demand.
The nanny demonstrates theirs by showing up on time, doing genuinely great work, and being someone you can count on. You demonstrate yours by giving the nanny a role that's actually reliable to show up to — steady hours, a stable scope, and no last-minute reshuffling.
Here's the failure mode I see, and it's almost always well-intentioned. A family hires a wonderful nanny, then starts nudging: an extra hour here, a "could you also handle the dog," a shifted start time three days in a row because work got hectic. None of it feels like a big deal in the moment. But to the nanny it reads as instability — the ground keeps moving — and the great ones, the exact ones you fought to hire, quietly start taking other calls.
The deal is simple: keep the hours you promised, keep the scope you agreed to, and change things on notice, not on a whim. Reliability you give is reliability you get back.
6. Protect the first few weeks with fast iteration
Set a slightly more deliberate weekly check-in for at least the first month or two. Fifteen minutes, sit down together: How is it actually going? What's your plan with the baby this week? What's working? What can be done better? How can we support you?
The early weeks are when the small mismatches surface — the nap approach that needs tweaking, the assumption you didn't realize you'd made, the thing the nanny would do differently if they knew it was okay to. The faster and cleaner you iterate in those first weeks, the more durable the match is for the long run. A misalignment caught and fixed in week two never becomes the quiet resentment that ends things in month eight.
The short version
The offer is signed, but the match isn't made yet — it's made in these in-between weeks. Handle the protective California basics so the role is set up well. Welcome the nanny with empathy and enthusiasm before any logistics. Pour everything in your head into an onboarding guide so they can execute instead of guess. Sort the money mechanics before they come up. Hold up your end of the reliability deal. Iterate fast and warmly through the first month.
Do all that, and you don't just have a nanny starting Monday. You have a partner with every reason to succeed and to stay.
Frequently asked questions about onboarding a nanny in California
Do I need workers' compensation insurance for a nanny in California? Yes. California requires household employers to carry workers' compensation for a nanny working regular hours. For most Bay Area families it can be added as a rider to your homeowner's or renter's insurance — call your insurer to confirm it's included and adequate. If it isn't available there, you can get a policy through the California State Compensation Insurance Fund.
When does the nanny I-9 need to be completed? Your nanny completes Section 1 no later than their first day of work. You complete Section 2 — reviewing their ID documents — within three business days of their start date. You can do it earlier once the nanny has accepted the offer, and you keep the form in your own records rather than mailing it anywhere.
Do I have to put my nanny on payroll in California? If you're hiring a long-term nanny legally — which protects both of you — yes, you're a household employer and need to run proper payroll (EIN, state tax accounts, quarterly filings, pay stubs, and a wage notice at hire). A household payroll service handles nearly all of it for you, and it's worth setting up before the first payday.
How early should I start onboarding before my nanny's first day? Start the moment the offer is signed. Use the two to three weeks before the start date to set up payroll, confirm workers' comp, prep the I-9, and build the onboarding guide. This way day one is about your child and your family, not paperwork.
What should go in a nanny onboarding guide? A good home manual covers safety-critical information first (allergies, medications, emergency contacts, pediatrician), the daily rhythm (naps, feeds, the shape of a good day), what your child loves and dislikes, the practices you're particular about (hygiene, screens, discipline, your care philosophy), and how your home runs. The goal is to transfer everything in your head so your nanny can succeed from week one.
This window has a lot of moving parts, and every Bay Area family's situation is a little different. If you'd like a second set of eyes on yours — what to prioritize, what to put in the onboarding guide, how to structure the role so it holds for years — that's exactly the kind of thing we work through on a complimentary Nanny Strategy Call.